I’ve been way more quiet than ever before. Have I been seeking some inner knowledge? Not really. I’ve been on auto-pilot, again. I don’t think I’m alone in this common trap.
However, I’m not thrilled that I fall into over and over again. Learning my lesson? I’m not too sure. It’s not necessarily about me (but that is for another post), but it is about me. I’ve been giving myself the space I need right now to be of service where I need to be. In caregiver mode – but let’s be clear there is a fine line between being a good caregiver and falling into martyrdom. The latter I am not, but that is not to say that sometimes I don’t recognize my efforts (or want to wallow in that feeling for a while). In this quiet period, I’ve started to feel less clarity, especially around purpose.
Lately I’ve chimed a mantra that I suspect has been out of tune. The mantra is “This isn’t about me”. “This isn’t about me, this isn’t about me, this isn’t about me.” Let me be clear. I’m figuring out I have that slightly wrong. Yes, there are things that aren’t about me. I need that boundary. I can be overly empathic and take things on way too personally. To respect those I love and care for, I also must separate my experience from theirs. And, there it is. That acceptance that I too have my own experience (truth) that is separate from those around me, and that I can, and I should acknowledge that. In that acceptance I find the real truth.
Clarity isn’t so cut and dry. It’s feels unbearable at times. Uncomfortable. Clarity is that knowing. Once you know, you know that you have always. Known.
Clarity creates the freedom to seek your truth. Clarity is the power of acknowledgement. Clarity is the chains of not turning your cheek any more. Clarity has no excuses. Clarity is light and heavy. Clarity is both dark and golden. Hiding under the covers and coming out for air. Clarity is the tunnel vision, eye on the prize, dancing in wonder. It’s forgetting the pains that it took to get to your truth. Because you’re here.
Danielle LaPortes book White Hot Truth came at just the right time. I shared my full review over at my HuffPost Blog
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